Saturday, December 29, 2007

talking to my computer.

No, I am not crazy,  I'm just having soo much fun with our MacBook. today when I was looking for a way to record an audio track with the built in microphone, I stumbled across the voice recognition software in the computer.  all I have to do is push the special key on the keyboard and talk to the computer in "a normal voice" and it will do various so called "tasks".  I can ask it what time it is and it will tell me in a voice that I pick off a menu, (you can pick voices with names like"hysterical" or "bad news" ,"good news" or just plane old Fred. how boring.)   you can also ask it to open up your web browser or you can ask it to open up your current window in a sticky note, you can even ask it to tell you a joke. here's an example:

Me: "tell me a joke"
Computer: "Knock knock"
Me: who's there? (can you hear the question in my voice?, isn't it so exciting!!!)
Computer: "Orange"
Me: "Orange who?"
Computer: " Orange you glad you bought a Mac OS10!!!"

wasn't that exciting!!!,  the suspenseful questions, the quick reply,  and finally the witty climax. oh the glory of it all!. I cant wait until I can tell it to make me breakfast,   that 'twill be the day, yes, it 'twill be the day.
now I will go and continue my nerdy exploits,  ignoring all others as I delve deep into cyberspace. ( just kidding, I still need to find that darn recording software, I know it's hiding in there somewhere)
see you at the chat room, (yeah right...)

Friday, December 21, 2007

here they are...

Here's the pictures of some of the beautiful gifts that we left on the doorsteps of our ( I'm sure) grateful fellow neighbors. here we go,

here's Levi opening up the gifts that we will be re-gifting to our "happy" neighbors,

then we opened this incredibly amazing enamel frog picture frame!!!!, holy tacky picture frame batman!!!,

and here is a picture of all the gifts in their full glory, untainted by sticky fingers or cold outdoor weather, yet. we left most of these items on the doorsteps of many a-now-happy-person-who-lives-on-our-block.
she also gave us this brand-spankin-new cassette player, made of solid steel and weighing in at about 2.3 tons. it features TV quality sound!!!, now that's quality, no kidding, maybe.
and last but not least, Levi with one of the four figurines that grandma sent us, can you see the ecstatic excitement on his face?, the joy, the wonder, of this deeply moving piece of artistry?, it's THE Christmas gift that every boy has ever wished for since that Chinese guy threw himself into his own furnace of pottery creating a new kind of pottery that has no equal anywhere else in the world. (isn't it funny that the fore-mentioned Chinese guy's apprentices actually used the baked china that he "dismissed" himself in, and discovered that the addition of bones to the clay actually made good pottery???. who woulda thunk.)

well now go and pixie you neighbors with tacky( or not so tacky) paraphernalia of all sorts. and always remember, they're is no such object that is so tacky that it cannot be pixied to someone.
happy pixie-ing!,

Thursday, December 20, 2007

'Tis the Life a a "pixie" person.

tonight we went pixieing. pixieing is the act of randomly picking houses in (or around) your neighborhood ( or anywhere for that matter,) to leave "gifts" at. tonight we went around our block with a boxful of goodies, and left them at all the houses we could get to without setting off the motion light sensors. so far we have left two Beautiful deer, a couple of intertwined geese, about 3 ties, 2 perfume bottles, some incredibly amazing picture frames,( AKA, some enamel frogs peeping over the backs of some gaudy gold frames) a red enamel egg thing that's on three legs and opens up to reveal a secret empty space thing to hide minuscule tangible objects of GREAT value!!!. ( I think it's from Dollorama, but don't tell anyone I said so) we also set out two plastic bowls ( also from Dollorama) and a set of measuring spoons. and all these treasures were donated by my amazing grandma. she bought us all of these treasures for Christmas( OK, yes, we opened them a little early, sue me.) and we decided that the best thing to do was to spread the joy and make sure no one ever found out who gave them those BEAUTIFUL, ( hack, hack,) ummm.... for lack of a better word, things, that they found on their doorstep that fateful morning in December.. I can just imagine the neighbors faces when they wake up in the morning ready to go to work and face the day, opening up their doors, stepping outside, and then seeing these things on their doorstep. ( did I mention that we also left the worlds ugliest little Indian figurine on a doorstep?, it was quite the thing to behold. ) I will try to post pictures of some of the "treasures" that we pixied away, and then you will be sooooo jealous that YOU don't live in our neighborhood. well I better go now, their are SOOOO many houses, and they just wont pixie themselves.
so long for now,
( PS, we got the idea of pixieing from the lady's at LIFT, thanks for the idea, it was soooooo fun!)

Monday, December 03, 2007

explosive cranberry juice.

Hi there, I've been really busy lately so I haven't had a chance to blog for awhile, but I just HAD to blog about this. we opened up a bottle of cranberry juice the other day ( the big no-name kind of jug) and it's been sitting on our counter for the last two days or so and tonight I went to have some and on the label in fine print* it read: IMPORTANT: PRODUCT MUST BE REFRIGERATED AFTER OPENING. Okay, Fine with me. but in smaller print underneath fore-mentioned statement it says:

Do not store opened container
at room temperature
as pressure build-up may occur,
causing possible injury.

possible injury???!!!, who knew that the cranberry juice in your fridge could be potentially harmful to your health and your sanity.
picture this,
your sitting in the doctors office getting a piece of plastic removed from your body and the doctor asks you how it got there.
you give him this explanation: "I forgot to put my cranberry juice in the fridge and it tried to kill me by blowing itself up in my face"
the doctor looks at you funny and asks you what your name is.
Josh T-----k** you answer.
oh, he says. He's silent for a minute or two, then says
"have you ever been diagnosed with any mental illness in the past?"
no, why?, you ask. wondering why he would ask such a silly question.
oh, nothing. he says as he yanks a piece of plastic out of your abdomen with a pair of needle nose pliers. "I got these" he says, snapping the pliers in front of your face, " at Michael's on sale for 40% off, great deal Eh?
you gulp.
half an hour and twenty stitches later you are let out of the hospital with a sore tummy and an appointment to a psychiatrist.
why would he ever give you a appointment to a
psychiatrist?, you ponder this as you walk down the sidewalk into a setting sun. happy that the evil cranberry juice had lost the battle and that you got a free sucker from the lady at the front desk of the doctors office.
sheesh, it makes you wonder what else is in your kitchen that could be "potentially harmful"
anyway I guess I better go and get to bed, I have to go to a psychiatrist in the morning and she wants my complete medical history on hand.
some people are so odd.

(*yes, I AM one of those people who reads the fine print on EVERYTHING.)
(** the characters names have been left out for the protection of themselves, I guess. and besides these thingies(*) are fun to play with.)